The Fournager

I have a fournager.. yes it is a thing.

The minute that clock ticked over to mark Harry’s fourth birthday he has evolved into what can only be described as an emotional wreck. Sure terrible twos were pretty terrifying, the threenager tested my patience beyond belief but the fournager is just something else!

For example.  I pick Harry up from his childminder three times a week and I’m greeted at the door with the hugest grin, cuddliest cuddle and happy shouts of “mummy its you!!”.  The second her front door is shut the demon child reveals himself.  I’m met with immediate demands of what’s for dinner which appears to actually be a rhetorical question as if I answer with anything other than sweets or chocolate I am screamed at.  Oh and dare I ask what he got up to during the day – also met with a torrent of screaming or “shut up mummy”.

The simplest tasks such as popping his plate on the kitchen side or fetching his shoes is of course a totally unreasonable request, meaning getting out of the door unscathed is near impossible  (I really don’t know how you parents of multiple children do it)

Turning four has also brought on this sudden need to resort to baby talk and actual tantrums, which gives me flashbacks to the terrible two stage.  To add to this he is waking in the night MULTIPLE times.. I mean seriously dude MAMA NEEDS TO SLEEP UNINTTERUPTED

There are also some mega highs that come with a four year old.  Things like being able to enjoy semi-entertaining activities together like going to the cinema or bowling.  Being able to leave them unattended for more than 5 minutes at a time (in the house of course, he is in my eyesight at all times outside!)  He comes out with some hilarious one liners and funny questions – like “Mum, do trees have bums?”  or “Daddy you have such a fat tummy!”

I wonder if our littles get a surge of hormones when they turn four – at least that is what I am going to keep telling myself as I cry into my latte and mourn the happy companionship we had pre-fournager.  I can do nothing other than ride it out and hope my smiling friendly bud comes back out the other side!

If your four year old is the dreaded fournager I pity you.  If you don’t then what on earth did I do wrong?!!!

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