I am the 1% | My Ectopic Pregnancy Story

I really thought our bad luck was over and we would see the back of hospital beds and saline drips for a while but unfortunately for us that wasn’t going to be our story. I was just getting back into posting all the normal “mum blogger” junk as well as planning some actual You Tube videos, and letting go of the painful year we have just started to get over.
I feel compelled to share with you the reason for my brief social media absence (if anyone has noticed!) and it wouldn’t seem right if I didn’t talk about the very thing which has consumed me and my family lately, and I also have a feeling you lot will have all sorts of words of kindness and positivity that I need right now.  No pressure.
It started the Monday evening, after work, before dinner when I started to get the most indescribable and excruciating tummy pains. It was like a swelling sensation as well as feeling extremely faint and all together pretty rubbish. I had indulged in sashimi for lunch and instantly thought perhaps I had got food poisoning and just needed to “sit on the loo” so to speak. The longer I sat there the worse I felt and I eventually curled up in a ball on our very cold bathroom floor whilst Mr H administered some paracetamol and ibuprofen. I was then tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle and the pain seemed to ease slightly. Before I had gone up to bed however I did notice that my stomach seemed to be hard and bloated but again this could have been my body reacting to a bad bit of fish. I spent the whole night curled tightly in a little ball with the hot water bottle pressed tightly against me, until morning.
The morning seemed better but not without pain so I decided that I would take a day sick from work and drop Harry with his childminder. Once Harry was settled in front of the TV I showered and kissed Mr H goodbye as he was late for his train. 
The moment I stepped out of the shower was when the searing pain in my tummy returned and after a quick glance in the mirror my lips had turned totally purple. I staggered into the living room where I knew if I didn’t lay on the floor I was going to collapse!  I called for Harry who immediately knew something was wrong and dropped to my side with the sweetest look of concern. I asked him to go and find my phone which miraculously he did so I could phone Mr H and tell him something was seriously wrong. Thank god he picked up, as his train was just pulling up to the platform and he sprinted home making a dozen phone calls on the way.
During this time my darling and clever baby boy sat stroking my arm, he fetched his little wooden doctors kit and “listened to my heart”. He gave me his absolute favourite comforter his stuffed elephant Ellie and signed to me not to cry. In such an awful painful moment it was one of the most proudest few minutes of my parenting life and I couldn’t have loved him any more. 
What happened next was a bit of a blur but I was taken to A & E and seen pretty much immediately.  I told them through gritted teeth all of my symptoms and as I was speaking I could feel the pain travel up through my right arm and shoulder. As soon as I told the nurse this symptom she wheeled me straight into an emergency room and asked me to gown up. I was asked a thousand questions at that point with the main one being “could you be pregnant?”
There was no way in my head that I was pregnant, I had just had a period, on the pill and we weren’t trying, I had felt completely normal before today. I did a sample for them anyway which they whisked away to test and in the meantime the doctor then proceeded to tell me that extreme pain like that travelling to your right shoulder is a strong indication that there is internal bleeding in the abdomen. This would usually be caused by appendicitis or more commonly ectopic pregnancy. 
My test result was positive. I was pregnant. But was I.. Because in the same sentence they had told me I was pregnant they also told me I wouldn’t be within a few hours.  I was having an ectopic pregnancy (fancy explanation here) which basically means the embryo attaches itself to your Fallopian tube which is about the width of a drinking straw and not a possible place for a baby to grow and is basically not good my friends. 
I was high as a kite on morphine and confused, scared, angry at myself for not knowing when we had conceived and guilty because my body had failed me.  Scott and I cried together and tried to make sense of what the doctors were telling us whilst a consent form was thrust my way and I signed my life into the hands of the surgical gods. Within 2 hours of arriving at the hospital I was taken into the operating theatre and put to sleep.
I can’t tell you how long I was in surgery but I was in recovery for almost 6 hours. I was in and out of sleep and weird conversation with the nurse attending to me. The next thing I remember is being wheeled up to the women’s health ward and seeing Scott’s face. The surgeon had been to see him and he really couldn’t believe I was still here. The Fallopian tube where the pregnancy had attached itself to had ruptured on the Monday night and my stomach had been bloated because it was filling up with blood. Somehow I hadn’t bled to death during the night otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this post today. 
There was over 2 pints of blood in my abdomen so my surgeon had made the decision to cut straight across under my bikini line instead of the usual key hole surgery commonly used in ectopic pregnancy to drain it out and I received a blood transfusion to replace what I had lost.
Due to the rupture my left Fallopian tube had to be removed completely but he saw that my right tube was in tact and healthy, as well as my ovaries being totally fine. This means that my future chances of conceiving are only very slightly reduced.  I’m no scientist but the general consensus is that your egg and his sperm will find their way via your remaining tube and get down to it.. Or something like that anyway.
I was in the 1% club, that’s the risk percentage of your pregnancy being ectopic. The risk of a repeat ectopic pregnancy once you have had one does go up by around 5% which is a little scary but I have been reassured that I will be closely monitored/scanned in those early weeks next time.
I was allowed to come home to my boys just a couple of days after my surgery, it felt like Harry and I had been apart for weeks and his beaming smile when our eyes met was almost enough to take all the pain away. 
I won’t lie, I’m in absolute agony!  I can barely walk, I can’t lift more than a glass of water and I’m bloated like a Buddha.  The cut is not dissimilar to a c section wound but instead of stitches I have staples which I can’t bear to look at right now. My surgeon was very polite in the fact he made sure the cut was super straight and neat and he managed to join it to 2 hernia scars I have from when I was little! It’s silly really to care about the cosmetic side of things when you’re life has just flashed before your eyes but it helps to know you won’t look like you’ve had a battle with a tiger once it’s all over 
I’m one tube down with no backup but I’m doing OK.  I have never felt so loved in my life, my house resembles a florists and I’ve got a cupboard full of chocolate and biscuits ready and waiting for me to pile back on the pounds when I’m up to it!
I couldn’t ask for a better nurse, flower arranger or chef in my partner Scott who, despite everything he has gone through, is doing m an amazing job as the mum and the dad! 
  I have yet again learnt that I am brave which isn’t a bad thing I suppose, and that the human body can be a confusing mess of failing you and then being a miracle worker all at the same time. 
I’ve accepted that this experience is now a part of my life story as well as all the other struggles we have somehow managed to trudge through! I’m naturally a positive person and I won’t dwell on this or let it take me down, its just another path I can say I have walked down and I can tell you I will be a hell of a lot stronger for it
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  • Reply Katie @mummydaddyme 11/04/2016 at 8:00 pm

    Oh my lovely you poor poor thing. You have all been though so much and I am in tears at your bravery and this post. That must have been absolutely terrifying for you all, as well as the emotional aspects from it too. I had staples with both my c sections they are pretty gruesome, but that's nothing compared to what you have been through. Sending you all my love and hope you feel better soon. Xx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:05 am

      Thank you so so much for the lovely message Katie. It was extremely terrifying and emotional! Staples are the worst aren't they but I've had them out now and healing nicely! x

  • Reply Sarah - This Mama Life 11/04/2016 at 8:01 pm

    Lucie my darling, I am so so sorry for what you've been through. This almost reduced me to tears, I can't imagine how awful it must have been. You've all been through more than enough and it's so unfair that this has happened as well. You are so brave for sharing your story and I'm sure you'll help a lot of people out there with your openness. Sending all the love in the world and wishing you the speediest of recoveries beautiful lady ā™„ļø xxxx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:07 am

      I'm sorry to make you cry! It does seem so unfair that this has now happened to us too, but I believe in the whole "every thing happens for a reason"! I really do hope this helps someone else šŸ™‚ Thank you for the lovely message xx

  • Reply Gemma | Pushchairs and Bus Fares 11/04/2016 at 8:05 pm

    I was almost in tears when you were describing how your little boy comforted you when you were in pain. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, it really is awful. I hope you get better soon and you should feel really proud for being so positive about it.

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:08 am

      Ahh he was such an amazing little chap I'm so so proud! Thank you for the lovely message x

  • Reply Anonymous 11/04/2016 at 8:05 pm

    This is such an incredible story, no idea how you got through it but you're such a trooper to be able to write about it!
    Also great for raising awareness about ectopic pregnancies
    Get well soon xxxx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:08 am

      Thanks so much, I'm not really sure how I got through it either!!! I just hope this helps someone else in the future x

  • Reply Catherine Tidbury 11/04/2016 at 8:08 pm

    How scary for you, so glad to hear it all ended ok (well, as OK as it could!) sending love x

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:09 am

      It was very scary šŸ™ Thank you for the love!! x

  • Reply Vicki 11/04/2016 at 8:11 pm

    I have followed your beautiful families journey through your blog for a while now & I often tell my husband about your incredible strength, hope and courage. I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to you, you must have been so scared. I hope you heal quickly and that you all receive some good Karma because you certainly deserve it. You have been a source of inspiration to me and I just want to let you know I will be sending positive vibes and love your way. Stay strong x

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:10 am

      Aww thats so sweet and nice to hear that you have followed our journey! I think I will be playing the lottery soon as surely we are due a win!?? Thank you for the really lovely message it means the world xx

  • Reply Maddie Parkin 11/04/2016 at 8:11 pm

    Lucie I'm so sorry you've had to go through this experience, what an intense whirlwind of emotions! I'll admit a tear rolled down my cheek at the thought of Harry being such an angel in your hour of need and it made me reflect on how important family are. I just want to say that I admire you so much for writing this post and sharing your story. You need to give yourself a pat on the back for being such a wonderful person. Wishing you a speedy recovery, take care lovely. Maddie x x x

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:11 am

      Ahh thank you Maddie for such a nice comment!!! It really means so much x

  • Reply Anonymous 11/04/2016 at 8:12 pm

    So sorry you had to go through this and I really hope you get better soon šŸ™ I experienced a heterotopic pregnancy – I was pregnant with twins and I had a third in my tube. I lost my tube 8 weeks into my pregnancy but miraculously my twins survived the operation and they are now 2. I was told my other tube was severely damaged and if I ever wanted another baby I would have to go down the IVF route. Well I've just had a little girl three weeks ago who is a (very happy) accident. So lots of positives out of a crappy situation which I really hope is the same for you xx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:12 am

      I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through such an awful and scary experience but I'm so happy to hear that life has all turned out really well for you!! Congrats on the birth of your new baby girl I'm so happy for you šŸ™‚ xx

  • Reply Emma 11/04/2016 at 8:16 pm

    Lucie lucie lucie..I just can't believe you went through this. It sounds just unbelievably scary, painful and horrible. Thinking of you so much, and the way you are seeing the good from it(that it will make you stronger)is truly inspiring. Rest up with your lovely boys and take so much care xxx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:13 am

      Thank you lovely Emma, It was all round pretty shit!!! Thank you for the love xx

  • Reply Anonymous 11/04/2016 at 8:32 pm

    I'm so sorry for what you have been through! I too had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my tube. Reading your blog brings back the memories of all the pain and feeling of loss after.
    But after all that I fell pregnant with my daughter only 2 months later, then again with my twins 3 years later! They are non identical so by some miracle my one tube worked its magic with two eggs ?
    I hope you recovery is speedy and you continue to be brave and strong! Xxx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:14 am

      I'm sorry to have brought back any sad memories from your experience šŸ™ I'm so happy to hear that life has turned out well for you though!! Thank you for the lovely message x

  • Reply Sophie Dent 11/04/2016 at 8:36 pm

    I read this with tears in my eyes. Your sweet little boy. What an angel. I suffered an ectopic about 5 years ago. I was pregnant, like you but didn't even know it. My operation went just as yours did and I left the hospital with one Fallopian tube. I was consumed with the worst thoughts and thought that was it. No babies for me. But just over a year or so later I fell pregnant with my now 3 year old. An ectopic pregnancy is something you cannot describe. The emotions that go with it are so confusing. I am just so pleased you are ok! Lots of lovers you and family lucie xxx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:15 am

      My little Harry was an absolute and utter angel I still can't believe it! I'm so sorry you had to go through such an awful experience I wouldn't wish it on anybody. Its such a confusing time. Thank you for the love xx

  • Reply Kate Darby 11/04/2016 at 8:36 pm

    Lucie, i'm so sorry that you're little family have had so many struggles, but incredibly you've all made it through and I am so glad you're slowly on the mend. I'm so sorry to read about recent events and can only send you lots of well wishes, but I am so pleased to read that after all of this, you're still as positive and bright. Keep shining and rest up šŸ™‚

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:16 am

      Thank you so much for the well wishes! xx

  • Reply The Smallest Of Things 11/04/2016 at 8:36 pm

    Oh I'm so sorry to hear this! Sounds really scary. Hoping you recover soon and Scott sounds amazing come

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:16 am

      Thank you so much! x

  • Reply Charlie 11/04/2016 at 8:50 pm

    Oh my goodness – i literally couldn't believe what I was reading. You poor poor thing, thank God you got to hospital when you did. And Harry – what an amazing little boy. So glad you're ok. Charlie xx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:17 am

      Thank you gorgeous girl šŸ™‚ the lovely messages mean so much xx

  • Reply Anonymous 11/04/2016 at 9:14 pm

    You are honestly such a brave and inspirational woman. I salute you for staying positive through all that you have been through šŸ™‚

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:18 am

      Aww thats such a nice thing to say, thank you x

  • Reply Lucie 11/04/2016 at 9:34 pm

    Lucie, you are so incredibly brave to share your story. I too have recently been in hospital for what the doctors thought was an ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully for me it wasn't although my experience did end in a miscarriage. Its been just over a month now and although I still feel very sad sometimes time is definitely helping. Thankyou for being so brave and sharing your experience. I feel ectopic pregnancys and miscarriage is something that is so under spoken about and sometimes us girls need to just get it out there. Hopefully your post will help someone else like us speak out about their experience and not feel so alone at a time when we need to feel loved and cared for the most. Take care x

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:19 am

      I'm so sorry to hear of your sad news. I totally agree that they are both such unspoken about things and I hope my post raises a little bit of awareness that this stuff actually happens! Thank you for your lovely message, sending positivity and love your way too xx

  • Reply Chantal Milk and Nappies 11/04/2016 at 10:18 pm

    Oh Lucie you are so so brave. What a horrible thing to go through, especially after how much you and your family have been through recently. I'm so glad you're okay, and I hope that you recover quickly xx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:20 am

      Thank you lovely girl xx

  • Reply babyypebbles 11/04/2016 at 10:52 pm

    I'm so so sad for you! Angry to that you've had to go through this. Life just isn't fair. You deserve all the looking after in the world my lovely. Lots of love to you. And I'm really sorry for the loss of your pregnancy ā¤ļø Xxx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:20 am

      Life really isn't fair but somehow I'm just getting on with it! Thank you for the lovely message xx

  • Reply Amy Antoinette 11/04/2016 at 11:29 pm

    Sorry you had to go through this, Lucy. My sister -in-law had the same thing happen and lost a tube. Sadly she and my brother had another two ectopic pregnancies but they went on to have two children. Hope your recovery is speedy xxx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:21 am

      Thats really good to hear that after such awful experiences they went on to have their babies. Thank you for the lovely message Amy, I hope you and your littles are well xx

  • Reply Lara 12/04/2016 at 7:39 am

    You've gone and reduced me to tears – AGAIN!! Can't bear to think what could have been. Love you xx

  • Reply Anonymous 12/04/2016 at 7:55 am

    Surely this is it for bad luck for you and your family. I wish nothing but a speedy recovery for you and nothing but love and big hopes for all three of you. Much love lucie xx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:22 am

      Thank you lovely x

  • Reply Logan's mummy 12/04/2016 at 8:28 am

    Gosh. I burst out crying at the bit were your son came to help and haven't stopped yet! What a nightmare you've been through but your son is such a strong boy for what he did. Thank god he new what your phone was or were it was and your husband sounds like a god send to tou. Big loves to them both. I hope your recovering well. I hate to imagine how that felt šŸ™ xxx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:25 am

      Ahh I'm sorry you cried! He was just so amazing. My mums friend has now put him forward for a children of courage award which is so sweet!! Thank you for the lovely message xx

  • Reply Krissy Gib 12/04/2016 at 8:32 am

    Wow! I almost cried reading this post, I'm so sorry you have had to go through this but also so proud of you (and Harry) for being so strong! I've followed your blog since your pregnancy and feels like I know you! So glad to hear that you are ok and stay strong, everything will start to get better very soon! <3 <3 Sending lots of well wishes your way! xxxx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:27 am

      Aww thank you so much Krissy, so nice of you to message šŸ™‚ xx

  • Reply Anonymous 12/04/2016 at 8:49 am

    Your story had me in tears, I cannot believe what your little family has been through and how whatever life bats at you, you seem to become stronger and stronger. It really makes my problems seem so insignificant.
    It sounds horrific and I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. Thank god your lively little boy was so attentive and helpful to you during those few minutes.
    Rest up, enjoy being waited on. X

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:28 am

      I'm sorry you were in tears!! I was so lucky to have my precious boy with me that morning šŸ™‚ thank you for the lovely message! xx

  • Reply scarlettandme 12/04/2016 at 9:41 am

    Oh bless you Lucie, such a heart breaking read but so pleased you have come through stronger the other side. Your little family is a true inspiration! x

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:28 am

      Thank you Faye for the love šŸ™‚ x

  • Reply scarlettandme 12/04/2016 at 12:05 pm

    Oh bless you Lucie, such a heart breaking read – pleased that you have come through stronger on the other side. You and your little family are a true inspiration! What a hero Harry is! Love Faye & Paul x

  • Reply Life-As-Mum 12/04/2016 at 2:00 pm

    Oh wow. I am so very sorry you had to go through this lovely. So sorry for your loss xx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:29 am

      Thank you so much xx

  • Reply Stephanie Smart 13/04/2016 at 1:07 am

    Sending massive hugs and kisses your way!! You are beyond brave and strong. I nearly cried when you talked about how amazing Harry was throughout the entire event. He is such a special, remarkable boy…you can tell how impressive his mother is šŸ™‚ Keep the spirits up and I hope you have a speedy recovery! You'll be picking up your little babe soon!!! With love, stephie

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:29 am

      Ahh thats such a nice thing to say thank you so much!!! xx

  • Reply MissJenGrieves 14/04/2016 at 9:52 pm

    Hey Lucie,
    I have the most insignificant and ridiculous yet most vivid memory of you dancing in our infant school assembly. My mum mentioned the other week that you also have a blog, she found you on Facebook because she is newly OBSESSED with it (CRINGE) and my dearest friend Pippa T also mentions you a lot! Anyway I came to read and here I am with tears in my eyes; you have been through more than I could care to imagine and look how positive you are, there's so much to be said for 'every day warriors' like you who crack on in the face of so much adversity with a smile on your face and love in your heart. I hope you are healing and that your family are helping you through. Much love xx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:32 am

      Oh my gosh really!!! Hahaha I was a bit of a drama queen, dancey show off!!! So nice to hear you are friends with Pip! Sometimes I forget that people even read my blog its just like writing a diary!
      Thank you so much for the lovely message!! x

  • Reply Sophie Carter 15/04/2016 at 9:47 am

    Oh bless you – this post made me cry! You and Scott have certainly had your troubles the past year or so and to see that you're still stronger than ever is a massive inspiration.
    Harry is such a babe looking after you like that. What a clever little boy you've got! xx

    • Reply admin 15/04/2016 at 11:32 am

      Harry is a real babe isn't he, I'm such a proud Mama!!! Thank you for the lovely message xx

  • Reply Laura King 15/04/2016 at 5:01 pm

    Lucie, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I've followed you since I was pregnant with my Harry, and he's now 21 months old with very similar cheeky chappy characteristics like yours. I recently suffered a miscarriage and totally understand what you mean when you feel as though your body has failed you. Thoughts are with you all,x

  • Reply Linda Herridge 18/04/2016 at 4:12 pm

    I am very proud of my youngest daughter who I never dreamt couldcope with all the traumas that she has faced over the last couple of years. She has surpassed all of my expectations with her maturity beyond her years. Scott and Lucy have the rest of their lives now to reflect on their experiences and little Harry will grow up in a loving family who can cope with whatever life throws at them. My colleague at work has nominated Harry for a Child of Courage Awards so watch this space as it would be great if he was chosen. Love you to the moon and back Lucy xx

  • Reply Laura King 29/04/2016 at 12:11 pm

    Hi Lucie, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I've followed you from when I was pregnant with my Harry, who is now 21 months old and a real cheeky chappy like yours. I recently suffered a miscarriage and completely understand the feeling of your body failing you. Best wishes to you & your lovely family X

  • Reply Ella Banks 25/05/2016 at 11:45 am

    Oh my goodness you have been through so much in the last year! Thank you for writing that blog post as so many people don't realise how common an eptopic pregnancy can be. You are an absolute inspiration Lucie and hoping you are recovering well. Xxx

  • Reply Christine Parsons 27/09/2016 at 2:22 pm

    well I have just found your blog via being a Hannah M fan, I saw this post and couldnt believe my eyes, finding things on ectopic pregnancies are few and far between Ive found, my ectopic story is 99% exactly the same as what happened to you, mine was a month ago now, we were trying for a 2nd baby and Im absolutely devastated, but like you Ive come to terms with it was just a path we had to go down, thank you so much for sharing, Ive felt very alone at times through this awful experience that you never think will happen to you! from a new follower! x

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